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There are heartbreak cakes.
There are ‘I love you’ cakes.
There are the cakes you make for other people and the cakes you make for yourself.
There are the cakes you wish you could make, the cakes you wish you hadn’t made, and the cakes you make when you are actually trying to make something else, like coursework. Procrastination Cakes.

Lately, I have been making all of these.

I always make them to a basic sponge recipe (I use recipe loosely, as I gave up measuring and now do most of it by eye, but basically…)

2 large eggs, weighed in their shells.
As much butter as weight of eggs
As much sugar as weight of eggs
One and a half times as much flour as weight of eggs.
(More of the dry mix if you are adding liquid to your cake)
Baking powder

All cakes take about seventeen mins at about 180.

There was:

Chocolate and Brazil Nut Cake
(Or, ‘The reasons I love you are hard to define, but one of them is your ability to look at a half charred and inedible cake and still make nice comments‘.)

-Add cocoa powder and chopped brazil nuts, DO NOT BAKE FOR LONG, and for god’s sake double your butter.

The Earl Grey Tea Cake
(Or, Darling, won’t you linger over fine china with me)
-Add half a cup of strong – not stewed- quality Earl Grey.
-A handful of raisins
-Sub in two tablespoons of honey for half the sugar.

For the drizzle,
The other half of the cup of tea
Cinnamon
Ginger
Mixed Spice
Brown Sugar
Cloves
Cardamom pods
Heated over a stove, strained, and then poured over a pricked, hot cake.

Lemon and Rosemary Cake
Or, The Inadvertent Heartbreak Cake

Add juice and zest of two lemons to the mix, and make a runny batter.

For the drizzle:
Finely chopped rosemary
Juice and zest of a further two lemons
Caster Sugar
Hot Water
Honey

The Rose Cake
(Or, the ‘Now I have to meet your extended family and want to give them a pink brick cake’)
Add Rose Syrup to your batter – again, should be nice and runny.

Ice with Icing sugar mixed up with rose syrup and lemon juice.

Vanilla Chocolate Sponge
Or, the Space Cadet Cake.

Add vanilla essence to the batter.

Ice with dark chocolate melted with cream and mixed with sugar, and embellish with butter icing (butter, caster sugar). The result is, at best, demonic looking.

The cakes I make leave little crumb trails of thought, and of generosity, or selfishness, or procrastination, or greed, or boredom, or a desire to experiment, or a desire to leave a loved one with something nice to remind them of you.

I do, do, do love cake.
For cake laughs a plenty, go here, to my favourite blog ever.
And revel in smugness that you have never made a cake that looks like intestines.

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