There is a sudden shortage of my partner, who has gone away to Italy for a month. (I have been deliberating over which bloody attachment noun to use there for longer than is seemly, so you’ll take ‘partner’ and like it.) I thought that this might be a perfect time to learn to, as they say, play it cool, since if I relapsed there would be nobody here to notice.

Thus far, my supercool stances have included: some pretty heavy facebook stalking (turns out there are a lot more tagged photos than I thought there were…); the composition of 2 emails in the space of 24 hours; vague mumbling; a desire to do nothing but sleep.

However, there have been some advantages: I am finally learning to touch-type via the BBC kids website and have managed the first two rows of letter. One never knows when such secretarial skills will come in handy in this modern age.

I have also discovered some new music, although my quest has been somewhat short circuited by listening to this on repeat all day:

It was sent to me by a cool friend who has, of all amazing things, a new record label. And to think, I only have a small collection of cosmetics and a redundant antique spoon collection. (Why yes, yes, you may see it if you like.)

What else? Well, my sister bought me some more Liz Earle Hot Cloth Cleanse and Polish today which is the only facial cleanser worth using. It is incredibly effective and so gentle you can rub it in your eye! (Other users may not feel the need to test this claim. I did.)

So at least I can be clean whilst I play it cool.

If I weren’t succeeding so greatly at this playing it cool malarkey, I would perhaps be eating homemade sticky ginger cake and strongly considering an early bedtime.

As it is, however, I went to Gladhouse Reservoir today:

Its fair braw

and then home via Temple, a village founded in 1127 by members of the Kinghts Templar.

So there you go, playing it totally fucking cool. (Although the ginger cake is of course true.)