1. It is hot. Man is it hot. I am wearing fewer clothes than I have worn for the rest of the year. Its not particularly that smug-making, South of France in early October hot, replete with baguette and pastoral scenes. Rather, it is sweating on the tube hot. However, arctic resident that I am, I am the only person to have noticed this. Everyone is wearing a jacket. I have to steel my will to wear any clothes at all. I daren’t point it out, really, in case it stops.

2. I am not where I am supposed to be at the time I am supposed to be there. Instead, I am sweating up some back alley whilst trying to make my google maps work on my phone (no, phone, I am not in the Thames). I have been told its because there are too many iphones in central london and so they all have existential crises. I am not sure if this is true. If it is, I am worried.

3. Subject to change, but people in shops are nice.

4.Men in London stare at my boobs more than men in Edinburgh. Given that there are more boobs in London, I can’t work out why this is at all.

5. People are obsessed with where you live, and it is terribly unfashionable not to give a fuck and just to be glad you can (almost) afford your rent.

6.I have no idea how anybody affords anything.

7.My comfy shoes? Not actually that comfy.

8. London is actually (grudgingly) prettier than I thought. Especially where I live, which has a big park and pretty red brick houses.

9. I do not own ANY cool clothes. Everything I thought I knew about fashion is a LIE. Everyone my age is far better dressed, and I am not even sure who I want to emulate. I feel like a ten year old jealous of her cooler sister’s wardrobe.

10. As suspected, the water is absolutely terrible. I have not yet caved to buying a filter: my cunning strategy has been to let it settle. I think the chlorine sinks, or evaporates, or something.

11.London is TIRING. I haven’t even started work yet.

12.But it is rather lovely.